Take control of your money worries

There’s no doubt about it: Americans are stressed. And few things weigh on our minds more consistently than money. The data backs this up: Nearly half (49%) of Americans say they frequently experience stress, according to a recent Gallup poll. And two-thirds point to money as a major cause of it, according to the American Psychological Association’s annual Stress in America survey.

This stress takes a toll. Studies show that stress can lead to poor financial decisions, from impulse purchases and overspending to avoiding looking at bills and bank statements.

“When someone’s overwhelmed, many decisions become reactive; they become less intentional,” says Tara Sibrian, a Thrivent financial advisor with the Sibrian Financial Team in Ontario, California. “When we’re overwhelmed in other areas of our life, our finances reflect that.”

We spoke to several Thrivent financial professionals about how they help clients manage money stress—and what they do to reduce stress in their own lives.

Many people who feel stressed about their finances cope by not looking at their bank accounts at all, which tends to make things worse, not better. On the flip side, understanding how much money you have coming in and where it’s going every month can give you a clearer picture of your financial situation and make you feel more in control.

“If we’re not paying attention to our finances, it’s like being in a room with the light out,” says Kelly Tuzzolino, a Thrivent Money Canvas^® coach. “We might have an idea of where we are. We might have an idea of where we want to get to. But if the light is off, we’re just going to be wandering.  We’re going to have a difficult time making progress toward our financial goals. Taking time to understand your finances is like turning the light on.”

Tuzzolino recommends keeping a spending journal, which can highlight patterns in your spending habits so you can make a plan to address them. It’s a practice she’s used in her own life.

“I kept a spending journal, and it helped me recognize that my family was always eating out on Thursdays, because it was our busy day,” she says. “My husband and I were both working and then the kids had swim lessons, and we were getting home late, so we always just picked up food on the way home, because it was a stressful day.”

Tuzzolino says this realization allowed her to make meals ahead of time. This way they weren’t spending money on fast food because they didn’t have time or were too exhausted to cook.

Once you see where your money is going, it becomes much easier to decide what to change—and this helps reduce financial stress.

“If I’m trying to lose weight, I need to know how many calories I’m eating or not eating, right?” says Carlos Sibrian, insurance associate and office manager for the Sibrian Financial Team and Tara’s husband. “It’s the same thing with [your] budget. If you’re trying to save toward certain goals, but you’re not tracking it, how are you ever going to know if you’re doing enough?”

“At the end of the day,” Tara adds, “stress itself isn’t what ruins the finances. It’s the avoidance of it.”

To keep tabs on both their schedule and spending, Tara and Carlos rely on a massive physical calendar that they keep a copy of both at home and at their office. Once a week, they sit down together to review their schedule, plan their family’s activities and meals, and look over their budget.

Planning removes any uncertainty, and because meals and activities are mapped out in advance, there’s less room for the kind of last-minute decisions (like Thursday takeout) that quietly drain a budget.

“It’s just lightening the mental load more than anything else and the anxiety that goes around some of those activities … and helps you stick to the basics,” Tara says. “When you have some of that control in those areas of your life again, it starts to bubble over into your finances.”

Stress and anxiety about the unknown will ease naturally once you have a good grasp of your finances, your timeline and your spending triggers. From there, you can start making—or getting back to— your financial plan.

While some people find goals motivating, others might find them daunting—especially if they focus too much on the outcome and not on what it takes to get there.

“Stress can sometimes come from looking at the whole picture,” says Tuzzolino. “Like, ‘I want to buy a house one day, and it’s going to cost so much money.’ It’s so overwhelming and stressful that it can paralyze you.”

Taking any action, even a small one, can break this cycle and provide some relief. Tuzzolino suggests starting with something easily achievable, like saving $10 from each paycheck or canceling a subscription and banking the difference. (Find tips for auditing your subscriptions on page 4.)

“It’s these small, sustainable steps that help people get started on this journey of taking better control of their finances,” Tuzzolino says.

One of the Sibrians’ clients, Paula Torres, is a retired high school math teacher from Rancho Cucamonga, California. She says breaking the payoff into manageable pieces was one of the things that helped reduce financial stress the most when paying down her and her husband’s debt.

They focused first on paying off their car loans. They decided to go out to eat less and make other short-term sacrifices so they could put more money toward their car payments. Eventually, they whittled down their debts until all they had left was their house payment.

“It’s [about] focusing on the progress, not the perfection,” says Tara.

Financial stress can take a physical toll, which is why it’s so important to take care of your body through both movement and rest. The endorphins released through exercise can improve your mood, sharpen problem-solving and boost the mental clarity you need when navigating financial decisions. And quality sleep can lead to improved decision making and impulse control—two things that are very important when managing finances.

The Sibrians emphasize the importance of everyday movement in helping them manage their stress.

For Tara, that’s her walks, which she does on an almost daily basis. Carlos is a runner, and he says he always makes running a priority, no matter what else is going on in their lives.

“I’m huffing and puffing and I’m going up a hill, and I know this hill doesn’t last forever. That’s life sometimes,” says Carlos. “These are the lessons that I learn while I run, and they go right into my life, which help me manage my emotions and [therefore] my stress levels.”

Torres echoes the benefits of daily exercise in reducing stress—a habit she’s formed in retirement—and the importance of quality sleep to help the brain and body recharge. When she was working extra hours to save money, her lack of sleep compounded her stress. “Sleep is as important as they say,” she says.

Sometimes you might need more than a new habit or a better plan to manage financial stress. If you’ve followed these tips and are still struggling, consider reaching out to a financial professional for help.

A financial advisor or coach is uniquely positioned to help you develop and put a financial plan into action, as well as provide accountability to stick to it. Then you can start seeing money as a tool, not a stressor.

“There’s real value in partnering with professionals to see things you might not see on your own and better understand your financial picture,” says Carlos. “Whether you feel confident in your decisions or you’re still figuring things out, having that extra perspective can make a big difference.”

Tara says a financial advisor can help you identify your priorities and adjust your spending and saving accordingly.

“Everything feels like it’s equally important, and so when we sit down with our clients, we can break things down to be less overwhelming,” she says.

Stress doesn’t disappear overnight. But with the right tools, the right people and a little grace for yourself, it can get lighter.

Allie Johnson is a writer in Minnesota.