What to do when a loved one dies: A practical, financial guide

The death of someone you love is one of life's most challenging experiences. You may feel anger, regret, fear or numbness. One minute you might feel composed, and the next you might feel incapable of getting simple household tasks done.

Figuring out what to do when a loved one dies often means addressing a host of administrative responsibilities. In the moment, it can be hard to know what's crucial to get done immediately and what can be handled later. Leaning on people you trust and having a checklist of things to do when someone dies can help you feel confident that you're not overlooking anything important.

This guide offers a financial checklist to help you navigate immediate needs, estate settlement and long-term planning after a death. Here are eight steps to guide you through the process.

You may want to start by letting anyone immediately affected by your loved one's death know what's happened. The news can spread to others in time, but any children, elderly relatives or pets who depended on your loved one for their care need a responsible person to step in immediately.

Fairly soon, you'll also want to ensure your loved one's home and property are protected from potential theft or damage. Check that windows are shut, doors are locked and, if applicable, alarm systems are engaged. This is especially important as news about your loved one's death spreads as people, unfortunately, may try to take advantage of the situation.

Another top priority for the executor is to retrieve important documents. Locate your loved one's will and trust documents right away to ensure you're carrying out your loved one's wishes. Later, you can look for any life insurance contracts, property deeds or titles, financial account statements and other items essential for settling the estate.

Logistically, deaths involve official reporting that starts with a legal pronouncement of death. It formally declares the time, date and cause of death as verified by a qualified professional. Depending on where and how a person dies, a doctor, nurse, coroner or medical examiner often takes care of establishing this information.

Based on the pronouncement, a separate death certificate must be created. If you're using a funeral director, they'll usually prepare the form and work with the family to verify information. Otherwise, state or local regulations will identify who's responsible for completing it. The funeral director or designated person must file the documentation with the appropriate vital records office, which then issues an official death certificate.

You'll need an official death certificate to move forward with most of the administrative tasks ahead, including closing accounts, transferring assets, probating the estate and filing insurance claims.

As steps 1 and 2 are going on, you'll likely be spreading the news to family, friends and others in your loved one's community. For some people, it may be best to hear it directly from you, but consider being open to asking your support network for help with this emotional task.

Once you have official death documentation underway, though, the next key step is making formal notifications. Make a list of organizations and agencies that need to know your loved one has died, and put them in order of importance. Some will need to know immediately while others can be handled over the coming weeks.

Here are several common places to notify soon:

• Workplace. If your loved one was working, their employer—or their contractors, customers and clients if they worked for themselves—should be informed quickly, within a few days at most. Payroll will need to be stopped, and any active jobs or projects will need to be resolved. If they had work-related benefits, like life insurance or retirement accounts, you'll need to contact these organizations, too.
• School. If your loved one was enrolled anywhere, you should tell them soon. They'll need to reflect it on school records, and you may need to stop payments or request tuition refunds.
• Government benefit agencies. If your loved one was receiving any type of benefit or aid, timely notification is crucial so you can stop payments from being issued and avoid fraud claims. In some cases, you may need to request a transfer of benefits. Places to consider are the Social Security Administration, Veterans Affairs, Medicaid, Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), housing assistance, etc.
• Financial institutions. Whether your loved one had banking and brokerage accounts or held a mortgage or other loans, it's important to let the organizations know sooner rather than later to avoid any unnecessary charges.

After these you can contact other places in due time, but aim for notification within about one month. Other immediate contacts to consider include insurance companies, retirement account and pension managers, utility providers, the postal service, credit card companies, health insurers and membership groups.

Arranging a funeral or memorial service can be one of the most meaningful steps in honoring your loved one's life. It also can be fraught with more decisions.

Some people preplan and even prepay for their funeral arrangements. If this is the case, you'll need to notify the appropriate facilities to discuss next steps. If you're not sure, go through your loved one's papers, contact their financial advisor or attorney, or contact local funeral homes and cemeteries.

If your loved one didn't make arrangements or share their wishes, you'll need to decide what type of service, visitation or ritual will best reflect your loved one's values and traditions.

Costs can add up quickly, but you don't need to overextend yourself. Keep in mind that you can honor traditions in ways that don't create financial hardship. Life insurance proceeds and payable on death accounts that transfer directly to beneficiaries can provide funds to help with these expenses. But it can be wise to treat these resources with the same care and intentionality your loved one had when setting them up.

Settling your loved one's estate is a key part of estate planning after death, involving legal, financial and emotional decisions.

You start by establishing who the executor is and that they have the legal authority to act for the estate. This is done by a probate court, which specializes in estates and guardianships. Estate settlement can be complex, so it's best to get guidance from an estate or probate attorney.

Once the executor has been approved, they generally have these responsibilities:

• Take inventory of all assets and debts. Identify assets that have named beneficiaries or are held in a trust. These generally skip the probate process entirely, with control over those assets given directly to the person or entity indicated.
• Post a public notice of death as required by law. The probate process gives creditors a limited time to file a claim for what they think they're owed. During this time, the main duty is to secure and maintain the assets.
• Pay debts and tax liabilities with funds from the estate. In most cases, debts must be paid before the remaining assets can be distributed. The order in which debts are to be paid is determined by state law.
• Distribute the estate's remaining assets. The will generally guides who receives what. If there is no will or if an asset doesn't have a specified recipient, the legal heirs are determined by the probate court based on state law.

Once everything is paid and distributed, the executor is responsible for having a final personal tax return prepared and may need to file an estate tax return as well. Then they can file any necessary paperwork with the probate court and formally close the estate.

While working through estate settlement, which can take a very long time, you can get started on claiming a death benefit if your loved one had life insurance.

Start by contacting the insurer to claim the death benefit. To avoid delays, submit a certified copy of the death certificate with the claim document rather than a regular copy. Also, respond promptly if the insurer requests additional information. When things go smoothly, a policy often pays beneficiaries within 30 to 60 days.

If you don't know whether your loved one had life insurance, you can do a free life insurance search through the National Association of Insurance Commissioners. You also can contact someone who should know if they had coverage, such as their employer, financial advisor or attorney. Or you may be able to review bank statements to identify premium payments.

Handling money matters for someone who has died is the responsibility of the estate executor or a trust administrator. Sometimes, the reality is that a surviving spouse or adult child in the daily grind of household maintenance takes over the financial duties. But having the appointed person take care of it can avoid legal conflicts.

Tasks that may need to be taken care of include maintaining accounts, negotiating with creditors and continuing to pay necessary bills while the estate is settled.

It's a good idea for the executor or administrator to work with an estate attorney familiar with the legalities of debts owed after death. They also can benefit from consulting a financial advisor familiar with your loved one's accounts and investments.

Another tricky area is taxes. Most people don't know when a federal estate tax return is needed or how to complete it. In addition, some states have their own estate or inheritance taxes with different requirements. Tax mistakes can be costly, so it's best to use an accountant who regularly handles estate matters rather than a general tax preparer.

A task that's become increasingly important after someone passes away is taking care of their digital and online presence. This includes everything from digital account access to online subscription services to social media profiles to cloud photo and video storage.

Technically, no one should access these accounts unless that person specifically granted them access. Realistically, you may be able to log in if their passwords have been saved in the browser or stored somewhere. But without express permission, you may feel uncertain about handling your loved one's intellectual property, digital assets and online personas. Even with permissions, accessing accounts can be complicated with certain security measures, such as when multi-factor authentication codes aren't instantly retrievable from your loved one's email or texts.

It's ideal if your loved one has done digital estate planning. They may have told you their wishes, left online access instructions in their will or designated someone as their legacy contact with the account provider. If they haven't, do your best to honor what they would have wanted or what feels right for you and your family in trying to gain access to close or memorialize accounts and download digital property.

The death of someone you love often means profound changes as you adjust to life without them. It also can bring challenging responsibilities, from sharing the news to making funeral arrangements to taking their financial goals to the finish line. At a time when you may feel overwhelmed with grief, you may be expected to handle an array of decisions when your loved one dies. As you honor their legacy, let their estate planning documents guide you, and lean on your support network of family, friends and faith community to help you.

Experiencing the loss of a loved one is often the catalyst for your own preparations. When you're ready, consider connecting with a Thrivent financial advisor about creating or updating your financial and legacy plans to give your survivors the direction and support they may need in your absence.