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Expect the Unexpected — ‘I’m so stressed!’ has become a common American refrain. But these Thrivent Financial members have discovered the ultimate way to fight back: peaceful prayer.
By Katrina Shawver
 Think of it as America’s equalizer. Regardless of our economic status, race or age, all of us ride a sliding scale of stress throughout our lives—from the daily stress of fighting traffic to big-time stressors such as financial hardships and family fissures. And those in the throes of parenting teenagers and preparing for retirement are certainly not immune. According to Dr. Beverly Yahnke, executive director of Christian Counseling Services in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin: “Stress affects every age group, from age 4 to 80-plus.”
The cause for all this stress? “There seems to be no shortage of things to fret about,” Yahnke says. “Troubled relationships—with your spouse, a child or even a co-worker—are what bring many adults into counseling. It is very tempting to keep trying to be all, do all, and fix all, all by ourselves—until we are all done in.”
The Badge of Busy-ness
The Rev. John Fale, a 52-year-old Thrivent Financial member in St. Louis, Missouri, attributes much of modern stress to our current culture of “busy-ness.” “Too many of us wear our busy-ness and over-commitment like a badge of honor,” he says. “Yet we leave no time to work on relationships that matter to us: those with our spouses, children or even our relationship with Christ.”
Fale’s calm voice gives no indication of the stress he has faced. For nearly 14 years, Fale served as director of pastoral care at Faith Regional Health Services in northeast Nebraska. He was passionate about being a hospital chaplain and helping patients. So it was an ironic role reversal when, in 2003, he suffered a heart attack and became a Faith Regional patient himself.
“It was humbling to be on the receiving end of pastoral care when I got ill,” he says. “And at first I did what I had seen others do. When fellow pastors wanted to visit and offer support, I’d say it wasn’t necessary or I didn’t want to bother them. But then I realized that in doing so I was shutting off those messengers of support whom God was sending to raise me up.”
Now fully recovered, Fale continues to struggle with over-commitment. He currently serves as the associate executive director of The Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod (LCMS) World Relief and Human Care. The Asian tsunami and Gulf Coast hurricanes made 2005 an especially challenging year. “I love what I do,” Fale says. “But when I start feeling tired and over-committed, I know now to slow down and keep things in perspective.”
Give It to God
Kim Condreay, a Thrivent Financial representative in Plano, Texas, also found solace in God when his life seemed to turn upside down. Five years ago, Condreay’s 17-year-old daughter Meghan collapsed and died in her bedroom. After a six-month investigation, the coroner could offer no reason for the death. Meghan’s younger sister, Simone, who was only 11 at the time, discovered her sister’s body.
Kim, his wife Lynn, and Simone moved from Appleton, Wisconsin, to Texas for a new start. Two years later, Kim suffered a heart attack, then had heart bypass surgery and was unable to work for nearly four months. Sadly the Condreay marriage did not survive the many stresses.
Today, in addition to coping with his own challenges, Kim, a single parent, has to keep an eye on his teenaged daughter. “I can tell when Simone is sad and depressed. She plays Meghan’s favorite music or gets moody. But she knows counseling is available when she needs it. And, he happily reports, “she has started attending church again, for the first time in two years.”
“If it wasn’t for God carrying me, I wouldn’t have made it through everything,” Kim says. “I know God loves me. I know He’s there. Every day I try to start with some quiet time and some Bible reading. But most important, when issues come up, I take it to God in prayer, even if that means I take it to God 20 times a day.”
 When You Need a Pro
Whether you’re dealing with day-to-day stressors or life-altering traumas, Dr. Yahnke encourages people to consider Christian counseling. “Baby boomers are often known for their self-reliant attitudes and a desire to work things out as best they can. Increasingly, though, boomers have been discovering that counseling offers them an opportunity to become equipped with new strategies, skill sets and coping mechanisms that can be very helpful.”
Ultimately, it all comes down to prayer, Dr. Yahnke says. “The best part of being a Christian counselor is trying to wrap my clients in God’s Holy Word.”
Phoenix-based Katrina Shawver writes frequently for The Arizona Republic.
5 Ways to Cope With Worry
1. Take Care of Your Physical Self. Eat well, get plenty of sleep and be active. Take a nightly walk with your teens or your spouse. Even 15 daily minutes of brisk activity helps release stress-fighting chemicals and ease tension.
2. Take Care of Your Spiritual Self. Pray. Make quiet time each day. Give thanks for the blessings you do have. Choose joy.
3. Take Care of Your Social Self. Even when you’re at your lowest, God does not intend for us to be alone or entirely self-focused. Accept the support God sends you through other people. Why not volunteer for a service project?
4. Seek Solace in the Word. Read stories of God helping people triumph over their troubles by turning to Isaiah 40:31; Matthew 8:23-27; Matthew 11:28-30; Romans 8:28; I Thessalonians 5:16-24; and Philippians 4:13.
5. Seek Professional Counseling. Waiting and worrying do nothing to promote health or positive change. If you begin to feel demoralized or have thoughts of hurting yourself or others, seek help immediately.
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